Do you have that friend that whenever you speak about another woman she goes “Oh, she’s a weirdo”, “OMG you wont believe what she does in private”, “Oh, she looks nice but she’s a bitch”… Stay away from those friends! She’s an energy drainer, and she will always have a negative thing to say about people (you included!).
Last week I was sitting with a group of women and the conversation was about a recent wedding we all attended. It was really funny when al the reactions were negative regarding any pretty girl that night. If you say “She looked gorgeous” the answer would be “Oh she got a nose job, a tummy tuck, and lipo when she travelled”, or “Her dress was amazing” they would answer “It’s a replica, not the real one”. Why cant women be happy for each other and support each other?
It might seem innocent and a fun way to pass time, but those negative friends usually have nothing but sad, depressing stories to talk about; negative stories drain your positive energy. I have a friend that I brace myself before calling, because after I say “How are you?” the immediate answer EVERYTIME is “Oh my God you wont believe what happened to me today”, followed by a horrible story. This happens 9 out of 10 calls!
After talking to “energy vampires” I feel drained, and any optimism I had would seem unrealistic, which is annoying since it reflects negatively in my behavior with people around me; especially my kids. I usually end up not in the mood to do stuff I have planned that day, and most of the time I get into a quarrel with a family member.
Some of those friends do this on purpose, I know they enjoy putting other people down, but others do it unintentionally because growing up that’s what they saw everyone in their environment do. Don’t worry too much about the friend who does it on purpose, she is actually very insecure and the comments she makes reflect her own insecurities. As for the ones who habitually do it, you can gently point out that they are being negative (you can say jokingly “wow, we are in a nasty mood this morning!”), but if they are sensitive, just try to divert the conversation into something positive (whenever she says something negative about someone “She’s so annoying!”, you can reply with “maybe, but last week she did this great thing for xyz”).
You will occasionally meet a negative person that you can’t nudge into any positive mood; avoid conversing with them when they start the negativity. Nod, say “aha”, and just let it go. Whenever they are done, move on to another subject. Or avoid them J
Be careful yourself, sometimes we don’t realize that we are that energy vampire!