It is indeed an interesting time to be alive, I never thought I would ever be in a lockdown, certainly not for health reasons. Here in my first statement lies my biggest mistake; the words never and ever, I learned that I should stop making those absolute statements because life has other plans.
The positive thing that came from this situation is the enforced learning it brought with it, I knew that things will always change but I lived in my comfort zone so I didn’t literally believe it. The same goes to being positive, I would tell myself to think positive and read affirmations, but when you are comfortable it’s easy to live that way, it’s only when you are thrown outside that comfort zone do you realize how deceptive your mind can be.
Here are some of the things I had to face during this lockdown that I thought I had no problem with:
- Staying Positive – When that hour hit that the full curfew started, I panicked. it was purely psychological, this feeling that I don’t have the freedom to go out whenever I wanted, even though a few months back I wished I could stay home and not have any social engagements, that was by choice. I had to find the silver lining, and it came in the form of my Life Goals List. I have a list of things I want to accomplish, and so I decided this is the perfect time to start, and so I did, and I am grateful that I had this opportunity to grow. I chose to continue taking health courses online, and learn a new language, both which I am enjoying immensely, they took my mind off the negative feelings.
- Setting Boundaries – Having to spend weeks with the same people in a shared space is bound to create friction, regardless who it is, it happens with your parents, spouse, siblings, and kids. In the beginning it was hard for me to set boundaries of personal space and time, but eventually learned to prioritize my alone time for my growth and sanity honestly. Seeing the situation as a normal day, I did what I would be doing had I been home with my normal schedule and went from there. It’s easy to want to spend the whole day gathered with my sisters, but it wasn’t realistic for me.
- Staying Consistent – I really wanted this to be a holiday, but it isn’t. I still worked, I had my virtual workouts, and I added classes to my schedule; I had a full day! Add to that creativity sessions for the bakery and football with the boys, it’s exhausting. This works for me, feeling that the day is still full with activities I like makes me happy, and I even wake up and put on my makeup and dress as if I’m going out, I didn’t change my routine. This works both ways, to keep me on track and to ease things after the lockdown is over, there won’t be a huge shift I have to adjust to.
- Being Alone – This is a big one for me, I hate being alone. This doesn’t mean physically alone, its sitting with myself and contemplating my life, I tend to run away from this task (hence why I don’t meditate a lot!). There were days when I broke down and cried, and days when I gave up, but in the end this lockdown gave me the chance to sit with myself and decide if what I am doing now is what I really want to be doing 10 years from now, and as tough as it was, the answer is no. In the beginning it scared me to think of starting something new, but eventually I came up with a plan that I am happy with; expect changes soon!
Some people will feel that it’s selfish when a person makes this pandemic about them, but the truth is it’s about everyone, and it’s not about a specific thing. This time in isolation has been imposed on us and we decided whether we would take something from it or if it took from us. Nothing ever happens to us, it happens for us.